“Never To Judge-Always To Love”
Once again, welcome to all of you and thank you for your presence today.
Words seem so shallow when we face the mystery of a tragic death like Scott’s. We are a people of Broken Hearts this morning—to be sure. How do we make sense out of Scott taking his own life? It’s a Darkness that needs to be Named. It was only a year ago this month that we gathered here at the Monastery for Scott and Sherri’s wedding– and who would have thought that today—a year later—we would be burying Scott. Life is so Fragile! So Cruel sometimes! We weep together—and it is so important that we grieve and weep.
Sherri—Greg—Charley & Christiana—Jody—Nieces and Nephew—Extended Family of Scottie—our hearts go out to you today. We are so sorry for your pain and loss. We wish to share your Grief—divide it up among us so that it is less burdensome for yo. We want you to know that we walk with you. We lean on the wise words of a 4th century Christian Spiritual Writer who said:
“Be Gentle with Everyone,
For Everyone Carries a Heavy Burden.”
This is so true. We all carry heavy burdens…..but when someone dies…..the burden is a bit more obvious.
Sherri & Family…..today we wish to be gentle with you. And we pray that God may surround you with an overflowing Spirit of Tender Care and Healing Love.
Scott…..as we know….struggled with deep, chronic, Bi-polar Depression…..a profoundly debilitating, dark, mental illness………that no amount of love, support, counseling, or medication could heal. Sometimes life is just this way. Things cannot always be fixed. Chronic depression is a devastating disease which deserves our deepest Understanding and Compassion. We cannot imagine the pain which Scott must have faced for years. In situations like this…..Ours Is Never to Judge, But Only to Love.
Years ago, I came across a poem by Robert Frost, which expresses for me this deep existential pain of humanity which we all feel at times. It’s entitled “The Garden.” It goes this way.
“The Rain said to the Wind.
You push and I’ll pelt.
They so smote the garden bed,
And the flowers actually knelt,
Though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.”
It seems apparent that Scott knew “how the flowers felt”…….lodged flat against the Ground of Life…Pressed down….wet and dark….No where to go….No way out…..lost.
The Novelist William Styron, who taught here at the University of Wisconsin way back in the 1930s….has written brilliantly about his own depression in his book called Darkness Visible. He writes:
“The horror of depression is a vicious storm indeed…..a storm of Murk. Soon evident in my life were the slowed down responses, near emotional paralysis…..the psychic energy throttled back close to zero. I experienced a curious inner convulsion that I can describe only as despair beyond despair. It came out of the cold of night……I did not think such anguish possible.”
It is so important that we acknowledge our anguish, grief and pain today. We must grieve deeply before we can heal. But it is also very important that as a community we look for meaning in our tragedy and a way forward in our suffering.
So…..where do we go with Depression & Pain? How do we move forward? I believe that this is where we look to our Spiritual Beliefs….our sense of Faith….to give us Hope in the face of Darkness.
As an ecumenical, Christian Community here at Holy Wisdom…..and all of you family and friends…..it is important that we say gently but firmly…..that Depression and Pain do not have the Final Say. We gather together to say that “there is somewhere to go.”………We say that there is a paradoxical meaning in our Pain……that there can be New Life in our Brokenness. We who are Christian say that Jesus of Nazareth teaches us this thru his dying and rising. Our Easter Candle today speaks of this….the Light Overcomes the Darkness. We see this dying and rising everywhere in Nature. We believe that Love is Stronger Than Death.
In response to the Mystery of Scottie’s Mental Depression and Death…..we continue to speak gently and humbly, of the healing Power of the Resurrection. Scottie’s Brokenness is our Brokenness. And we all need the healing touch of Christ. For whom of us here has not fallen flat on his/her face…or failed deeply…or sinned profoundly…..or made a mess out of life in some way?
How tender are the words we hear in our Gospel today, chosen by Sherri……some of the most tender words of Jesus in all of the New Testatment. Jesus saying: “Come to me all of you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke on your shoulders and learn from me…..for I am gentle and humble of heart. Your souls will find rest….for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
As a community of faith today, we lean on the tender Love of Christ.
St. Augustine said centuries ago:
“God permits evil, so as to transform it into greater Good.”
I’m not sure about God permitting evil……I need to think about this further…..but I do believe this quote points out a very important faith statement…..that God can bring Light out of Darkness. I believe that God loves us deeply and personally….and when God sees us in such suffering ….what imagination God has ……to potentially transforms suffering into Good….to transform the cry of pain into a prayer…..Grief into an act of Love.
I believe with all my heart that as James Finley writes:
“God protects us from Nothing. But sustains us in Everything.”
God does not protect us from cancer, or natural disasters, or the death of little children, or suicide….but our belief says that God sustains in these difficult moments. Could it be that the omnipresent pain of the world touches us in the flesh…..because the tears issuing from that flesh…..can teach us to mature in the ways of God? Who knows how God may use Scott’s Brokenness and Pain and Death to bring deeper compassion, strength to others…..to bring new life and goodness to those who are battered by the tears of life. We’re talking here about the Phoenix of Love rising from the Darkness of profound suffering.
This morning, I wish to be firm, strong and clear about one simple thing: Scott Shimanski was a good, good man. He was intelligent, he was a gifted athlete, he was very tender and kind, he was an innovative and smart businessman, he was a talented renovator of homes, he had a great sense of humor….known by his nieces and nephew for “dome kisses” on his bald head. I get it…..Scott fostered many friendships…..was a man of deep integrity…..and his presence here at Holy Wisdom the past 3 years said to me that he loved his God and was a man of prayer. We’ve lost a good man.
As we lay Scott to rest today, possibly we can stop for a moment and learn from his death……gain a bit of wisdom from this pain. Maybe we can learn to be just a bit more loving, a bit more tolerant of others, a bit more sensitive to the pain of the world. Maybe we can become a bit more forgiving, more gentle, more Human.
Thornton Wilder, the American playwright, describes in one of his writings, how people who are deeply wounded by life can potentially become Lights For Our World. He is speaking Wisdom to us today. He writes:
“Without your wound, where would your Power be? It is your very remorse that makes your voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth, as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. IN LOVE’S SERVICE—ONLY THE WOUNDED SOLDIERS CAN SERVE.”
We are those wounded soldiers today……AND WE CAN SERVE.
I suspect that Scott would say to me right now: “Ok, Steve, let’s wrap this up…..my apologies if I’ve gone too long.
I close with a piece of Wisdom Love Poetry from the Hebrew Scriptures…..from the Song of Songs. The Song of Songs is about God’s passionate love for the Hebrew People….and always calling them back Home. Imagine God speaking to Scott at this time, calling Scott his Beloved Home.
Come then, my Beloved,
My lovely one come.
For see, the winter is past.
The rains are over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth.
The season of the turtle dove,
Is heard in the land,
the fig tree is forming its first figs,
And the blossoming vines,
Give out their fragrance.
Come then, my Beloved.
My lovely One, Come.”
Scottie…..Good Man…..loving Husband, Brother, Uncle and Friend…..in your Brokenness…..we lift you up to God. We trust you are now at Peace…..No more Darkness, No more Depression, No more Pain. We beg you….pray for us in our Brokenness…..for we still have a long way to go.
Requiescat in Pace, Scott. Rest in Peace.
Presented & Given By:
Steve Zwettler
Retired HospiceCare Chaplain
Presider of Eucharist at Holy Wisdom Monastery