It is a warm feeling to know that someone is expecting you and that they are glad you came.
It was a beautiful fall day when I had the pleasure of meeting Phyllis in the courtyard of the Retreat and Guest House. I was honored to spend the hour with her and learn more about her life and connection to Holy Wisdom.
Phyllis discovered Holy Wisdom as a personal retreatant from Illinois back in 2011.
“I was sole care-giver for my mother and I needed to find a place for some respite. I found Holy Wisdom Monastery on the internet and was impressed that it is ecumenical and is concerned with the environment. I thought ‘that sounds like a good place to go!’ I called and left a message inquiring about a retreat and Sister Joanne Kollasch, OSB, called me back. I was at the hair dresser and couldn’t talk so she gave me a specific time to call her back.”
We laughed a bit here both acknowledging how she had no idea of who Sister Joanne was then, and how now if Sister Joanne called her she would stop whatever she was doing to take the call.
Phyllis then had the honor of getting to meet with Sister Joanne once a month for spiritual guidance. While on her monthly visits to the monastery she learned about the oblate program and soon became an oblate candidate. It was through that experience that Phyllis began to think that “this would be a good place to live.” In 2012, after her mother died at 95 years of age, Phyllis moved to Middleton, WI to be near Holy Wisdom Monastery.
“I was seeking more of a rhythm to my life. My life was sort of out of balance at that time. I was so happy to become part of a community of people with that shared interest.”
It was shortly after the move to Middleton that Sister Joanne asked Phyllis, “would you like to volunteer here? No pressure.” Of course, who can say no to Sister Joanne? And so Phyllis found herself helping out with a capital campaign doing administrative tasks. She eventually took up her volunteer admin work at the front desk on Wednesdays so that she could also greet visitors, like the “porter at the monastery gate” mentioned in the Rule of Benedict. Being there on Wednesdays was an anchor to her week and to her new life in the Madison area. She has enjoyed that role ever since.
Over the years, in addition to portering the front desk, Phyllis has participated in a variety of volunteer activities such as helping in the kitchen and on the prairie, serving on committees and leading meditative movement at various retreats as well as attending classes and other enjoyable events at the monastery.
Phyllis says now that she is in her 80’s she has less energy to show up as much, but she still is involved with a monthly oblate reflection group, attends Sunday Assembly via livestream and, of course, still works her Wednesday porter shift. “Generally, I don’t do anything that involves a meeting.” The Wednesday porter shift continues be a part of the rhythm of life she sought when Holy Wisdom drew her to us across the state line.
When asked what was most important to her about this community, Phyllis says, “The value of hospitality is very important to me. When I first arrived at the monastery all those years ago, I went to the oratory for evening prayer, not having met anyone yet. And there was Sister Joanne to greet me as if she had been waiting just for me. She introduced me to the prayer books, told me what to expect and that supper would be after prayer. It was such a genuine and caring welcome to a stranger that remains with me as a treasured and loving memory. It is a warm feeling to know that someone is expecting you and that they are glad you came.”
She also talked about how she enjoys the solitude, the quiet and the contemplative atmosphere – but above all, the rhythm of the Benedictine life is what drew her in originally and holds her still. Also important are the people she has met through her connections with the various communities in her volunteer work and being an oblate. She loves her Wednesdays at the monastery: being around the sisters, getting to know the monastery coworkers, seeing other volunteers, visiting with guests and retreatants and attending midday prayer. “I’ve learned more deeply the value of being in community. As Sister Joanne has always said: ‘Benedictine spirituality is not taught – it is caught.'”
She left me thinking about her reflection on the rippling effects of hospitality. As “porter at the gate,” Phyllis is the fortunate recipient of the expressions of sincere gratitude from guests who pass the front desk after eating a wonderful lunch, or using the restroom, or receiving some information, a mask, some minor assistance or attending a retreat and so on. Their gratitude is deeply moving and reminds her of how fortunate she is to play her small part in the beautiful energy of Holy Wisdom Monastery. As she pointed out, we never know how far our individual, small acts of quiet hospitality go out the door with our guests to be shared more broadly in a hurried world.
Thank you, Phyllis, for being who you are, for seeing the deep value of this community, for joining it and for your beautiful hospitality you offer to visitors in our community. The gratitude of the welcome is alive and well in you.
Comments 8
What a delight to read this conversation with fellow Oblate, Phyllis Lobdell. Thanks to Erin for sharing time with Phyllis and letting us all in on their conversation. I really appreciate these opportunities to learn more about others who share love and appreciation for Holy Wisdom Monastery and the many ministries found here.
Thanks for reading Tom!!
Yeah, well, I like seeing Phyllis at the desk, too. She is one of the many cheerful faces of the monastery.
What a wonderful article about a special person in this special place.
Phyllis’ warm welcome and smile assure everyone that we are part of the sacred. Thanks to Phyliss for introducing Qigong. A small act with a big impact.
Phyllis blesses each person she encounters with loving attention and the warmest, most sincere Benedictine hospitality. What a gift she is to all!
Phyllis,
While you have never met me, I can attest completely with your wonderful statement: “It is a warm feeling to know that someone is expecting you and that they are glad you came.” I have been experiencing this warm gift from HWM closely, and now from afar, since 1972 and it is always reaffirming, inviting, filled to the brim with ‘gladness,’ and invigorating. It is a Benedictine value that like all ‘hospitalit/izing’ and ‘giving’ keeps on ‘hospitalit/izing’ and ‘giving.’ [While I agree it’s is impossible to say, I did look it up, and yes, it is not a word in any human language.] It is a universal gift that is charged with as much energy by the person receiving as it is by the person who is giving.
It is so magnificently wonderful that you are giving and receiving this blessed warmth, not only as a ‘Welcoming Porter,’ and also as a charming and valued member of the Benedictine community at HWM.
When I first saw the heading with the picture of you and Erin, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that is was Erin expressing this blessed sentiment about the encounter she was on her way to. Of course later in the article I realized it was your statement, Phyllis, in response to your initial meeting of Sr. Joanne. Now there’s a gift from heaven, that both you and I have had the good fortune of having. And once had, it keeps on “giving” such that you and I are now and forever tied together as friends of Sr. Joanne and through her of HWM.
I would love to offer my multilayered response to Sr. Joanne’s deeply probing and insightful statement: “Benedictine spirituality is not taught – it is caught.” What! Wait! Is Sr. Joanne saying: Benedictine spiritualigy is like going “fishing,” in order to say, “Look at the magnificent fish – I caught!” Now, I’m certain Sr. Joanne is rolling around laughing her head off, saying: “That Dennis! always pulling somebody’s leg! If he can twist something around, I assure you he will!” {Kiss-kiss and Hug-hug, (; my dear one (; }
Now seriously, I have already pondered on Sr. Joanne’s statement, knowing it is a gift that comes from deeply within her truly, fully, and beautifully Benedictine heart, mind, and soul! And that statement is a challenge she has offered to us that we may be refreshed and invited to ponder one again on our own experiences of Benedictine life, love, and happiness.
Phyllis, I am blessed to have had the great pleasure of meeting you. I value your presence at HWM, not only for who you are becoming, but also for your are:
‘The hospitable and generous Wednesday Porter at the most remarkable place in the world!’
I love you all, I offer my heartfelt “Namaste” and when you think of me now and then, know that I have CAUGHT Benedictine Spirituality! It was, and is the biggest Fish in that wonderful, Lost lake! So, folks, get out your fishing poles and enjoy! Dennis
This was lovely to read since I normally not at Holy Wisdom on a Wednesday. I hope Sister Joanne reads this article because it brought happy memories of my early days at Holy Wisdom. The joy that i felt everytime I encountered Sister Joanne are precious memories for me. Good job Phyllis keeping the honored post of Porter active. Blessings on Sister Joanne in her recovery.
Valerie