Awareness

Submitted by Kathleen Owens (she/her), Manager of Clergy Programming and Communications for the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery

James Salimes was struggling with disillusionment when he heard about the Contemplative Renewal Immersions at Holy Wisdom Monastery. As part of his disillusionment, he left ministry as a non-denominational pastor and started serving as a chaplain. James entered the immersions hopeful the experience would help him “work through my disillusion, but with an open mind to see where it would lead me.” As a part of the fourth cohort of Contemplative Renewal Immersions, he found a community of pastors from a variety of traditions. “It was a different experience for me to be with a group of pastors like that. Different from my own background. Not the group I’d normally hang out with.”

On the opening night of their first immersion, everyone was invited to take a rock and name something that they wanted to set down or let go of in their time at Holy Wisdom Monastery. James reflects, “I remember taking my rock and letting go of fear. That was a great way to start.” Another key moment from his second immersion was participating in a Clearness Triad, a practice built on the Quaker tradition of Clearness Committees. “It was something I longed to do but didn’t know I was longing for. It was like [being with] an especially good friend who will sit and listen. But those relationships are few and far between.  When we sat down and [I realized] there was a name for this, and there is a way to practice this, and it could be a part of everyday conversation…that was a big moment for me.”

In the spring after the second immersion, James found himself using these skills in his work as a chaplain. He remembers a particular conversation that spring, sitting with a grieving woman who had a lot of questions: “All these answers were coming to mind from college and the ministry I was a part of for so long. I was able to let that go and let her explore and listen to her without having answers or correcting her. I allowed the Holy Spirit to take the lead in our conversation. Since then, it’s helped me when I go to speak with people. I’m not the answer guy.”

The Contemplative Renewal Immersions helped James to see the work of the Holy Spirit in others and in himself. He came to “understand my own belovedness.” Awareness of his own belovedness opened James to an awareness of Christ’s presence in others. “If Christ is present than I can learn something from someone else no matter where they are from. I can see where God is at work. That is something I am trying to be more aware of, aware of how the Holy Spirit is working in the person next to me or whomever I meet that day. I keep calling myself back to that awareness, because it is easy for me to slip out of that awareness.”

Through the community of the Contemplative Renewal Immersions, James was able to strengthen the deep roots of his faith in Christ’s love and the leadership of the Holy Spirit. From strength of these roots, he is able to bring God’s love into the daily interactions of his ministry. Thank you for your support!